Suicide is not Solution, it's a Problems

A relative of mine committed suicide the other day and I am compelled to write about this issue in the hope that maybe I could help stop someone from doing the same. I am against this seemingly easy exit strategy as it causes more problems than solutions and there are better ways to deal with issues.

The incident involving this relative happened out of the blue and I noticed the following:

Suicide leaves a lot of unanswered questions

One might think that it is best to take one's life than try to face the world but this becomes the beginning of a huge puzzle for family and friends. Even if one leaves a suicide note, it hardly answers all the questions that people will have. For instance people might ask: why did someone take this route, was there no other route? Did we not provide enough support to this person? Did we not show enough love and care? Is something or someone else the real cause of this decision? Did the victim exhaust all channels to deal with problems? Could we have done better to stop this decision? Etc.

It leaves unresolved issues behind

Taking one's life does not solve the problem that caused it. If someone decides to end their life in one way or the other because of an issue they have failed to solve, the issue still remains unresolved. If however, someone decides to live, face or tackle the issue it could get resolved somehow. The solution could be something unfavourable to the victim or members of family or relatives but it is still a solution. For instance, one could decide to separate from a spouse where their marriage is causing anguish rather than end their life.

It causes pain and suffering to family and friends

This relative of mine did not stop to think about the pain her suicide would cause us and the child that she left behind. It was a selfish act because it seeks to end one's misery at the expense of other people's happiness. The child left behind will always be haunted by this event and will grow up with a distorted view of life. It will also grow up lacking that motherly love and care. The other relatives will always have that burden of living with a guilty conscience that perhaps they could have prevented this. They will also have a burden of raising the child knowing fully well that they can not take the place of a natural mother.

It is therefore necessary that people look at the above negative consequences of suicide and take into account the following alternative ways of dealing with issues:

Talk to someone when you feel suicidal

Talking is therapeutic. In psychology they use what is called-Free Association. This is when a depressed person is asked to talk about all and sundry and through this method, real issues will begin to emerge and hopefully the problem is identified and resolved. Therefore, it is believed that letting it out will help other people assess your situation and be able to identify how they can help. It also becomes apparent that bottling everything up in the hope that a magic solution will pop up only eats at the heart and soul and leaves one with nothing to live for.

Seek professional help or any help

Any help will do at a time of desperation but professional help will solve the problems more effectively. Say for instance that one is battling with relationship issues; it is prudent to seek out others who have insight or experience in that area. Having their input may help bring light where there was total darkness. Also if someone is depressed, it is wise to consult a therapist, counsellor or anyone experienced in dealing with such issues. There is always a way but finding the way might require an expert.

I am therefore still convinced that there is a way out of any difficult situation and that committing suicide is not the solution to problems.

No shortcut Will Allowed if You have Begin

How do i address my feeling today? Partial disability or lost my leg & hand? Heartless on what I have done previously. Could I begin from ZERO again? If possible, there is no more backward. Time is passed. The reality is truth. You can't ignore and avoid it. It's all happened on what number of mistakes which you did. It's all can be considered non-sense, bullshit and idiot action as well as something action was beyond your capability. How can you afford it without understand your own personal strengths?

You pay peanut, then you will get monkeys. How many of us understand it really mean to us in our daily behavior and patterns? It's pretty hurt although you think everything can be calm down and deep breath to make thing easily. It's damn hard and difficult, indeed. What can you imagine is when you have prepared & planned carefully for your travel trip, and coincidence that you're out of your expectation, things ran unsmooth & worst happened on you. You must lost track, you must missed concentration. Lost focus, can't awake up & of course you can't rebound yourself as faster as possible.

Last time, I thought there was a shortcut to go through for your life's. Now I realise that there is no such gorgeous story will be happen if you do not put any concentration, efforts and energy in the matter where you think it usually there is simple phenomenon in our life. Simple tasks require simple step, no shortcut allowed. If you think there is a possible, you are killing yourself slowly. Bad habit can't hiding too long, it'll telling everyone that you are not the better one that they'll think.

My life almost pissed off. Thinking being messed up. Terrible things happened too fast, you can't control or monitor their perception about you. Only few words can say, "you must accept your responsible will be happen to you in next undertaking."

Changing Before End Up Become A Dinasour

What if I say, "Changing the way we change?" Some of you may question in your minds, what am i trying to address here? It could be matter of changing the way where can find yourself how effect of change. In this turbulent times, we of course alert that dealing with much pressure to change. Change does causing us to be better and improve as well as we survive to grow. Nobody will disagree what my statement is. The main reason is the changes will foresee uncertainty happens to us especially in this economy downturn.

It strongly believe that everyone does not used to adapt as fast as they have changed the way of living and life's. Each individual constantly delivered on what they have adopt in their living such as the way of communication, thoughts, belief, behaviors and so forth. Indeed, it's reality. These are where represents their status of behaviors how they are dealing difference kind of people daily.

In regards of management, the leaders must understand that change is inevitable and must comes from within. It's so important to hear the voices of surrounding of them. For instance, in the competitive edges, as leader should listening their customer voices, it must takes into their account to evaluate how to give more advance customer services to maintain their satisfaction. Change is continuous, not an "event" and thus so far there is no innovation and paradigm shift has been implemented overnight.

Do you expect anything change in next few days? Surprisingly we should thought likely, however, we must know the next cycle of change. Assuming that you have realized that your current employment has been having difficulty in their financial work flow, and it must implemented VSS to cutting their cost and employees, what next you would like to do? It because of fear, they must change their minds and before committed to it. It is important to understand that people tend to go through stages in their attempt to cope with change. Knowing the next cycle of change allows the preparation of the change mindset.

Quick fix or change paradigm may not be appropriate. When changing mindsets, management leaders must understand that quick fixes may not be appropriate. Here is a case for your consideration: There is a leak in the ceiling of one of the offices and instead of fixing it, someone puts a pail under it to collect the water. He uses the simplest method to address the problem, not fix the cause of the leak. This illustrates the need to have a maintenance mindset and culture to fix a root problem in the organisation. On personal aspect, you also must understand whether which changes can be adopt it and which you are not. Don't even simply to change your minded without your own realization. It causing you will wasting your time, the worst thing is you'll lost your concentration and track.

Why We Fail? (Part Two)

4. Not Learning from past Mistakes
Some people live and learn, and some only live. Wise people learn from their mistakes. People who do not learn lessons form history are doomed. Failure is a teacher if we have the right attitude. Failure is a detour, not a dead end. it is a delay, not a defeat. Experience is the name we give to our mistakes. As quoted, "the past performance is not guarantee for future result." Although it may sound inspired, but you must consistently your perseverance to maintain the best performances. Learn whatever you think it is new to you, new things bring you new experiences.

5. Lack of Discipline
Anyone who has accomplished anything worthwhile has never done so without discipline. Discipline takes self-control, sacrifice, and avoiding distractions and temptations. It means staying focused. Steam does not move the engine unless it is confined. Niagara Falls would not generate power unless it were harnessed. You whether can be thinking the discipline does important to everyone of us, indeed, it extremely important. Look at your daily practising on your financial planning, if without any discipline, you sure will lost control. Nobody can be guided you unless yourself. Monitoring well financial education is to ensure that you can allocate your expenses more wisely, despite that you may also to learn with some financial experts to generate how shall we obtain financial freedom.

6. Poor Self-Esteem
It is a lack of self-respect and self-worth. As I mentioned in earlier, self confidence is required for us to step one further to aim our mission. It links with each other. It tend to understand that it could be caused you to succeed in your paths living. It leads to abuse of one's self and others. People with low self-esteem are constantly looking for identity. They are trying to find themselves. One's self is not to be found but to be created.Idleness and laziness are consequences of poor self esteem and so is making excuses. Idleness is like rust that eats into the most brilliant metal.

7. Fatalistic Attitude
A fatalistic attitude prevents people from accepting responsibility for their position in life. They attribute success and failure to luck. They resign/escape themselves to their fate. They believed and accept the predestined future written in their effort whatever has to happen will happen. Hence, they never put in any effort and complacency becomes a way of life. They wait for things to happen rather than make them happen.

God Bless You. All to Your Best!

Why We Fail?

Are you consider yourself as failure? Not at all, don't ever thought we are failure. We guess some time that worst things occurred, we at least prepare the worst will happen against us. Nothing will be take away from you without your permission. Life's is wonderful, though, the challenges are part of essential vital in our life. We can't escape away. I still remembered one weird case had happened to me, I believed that time I was a MLM marketer's who aggressively recruiting as more as agents as my down lines. Thus, I met a potential can be built his own networking base through his powerful leaderships capability and huge friend networking. I asked, "Did you afraid changes? What's in your mind as challenges?" He told me clearly, I have no challenges. That's why I did not afraid changes. If I need to change, I must lost in mind. I was healthy person and mentality control by myself. Why should afraid for?

Here are 7 ideas why are they fail:

1. Lack of Persistence
More people fail not because they lack of knowledge or talent but its because they quit. Winners never quit, failure is quitters. The total secret of success lies in two words, persistence and resistance. Persist in what must be done and resist what ought not to be done. When problems seem insurmountable, quitting seems to be the easiest way out...Winners are struck but not destroyed. We all have had setbacks in life. Failing does not mean we are failures. More elaboration on failures, once a while, the challenges may be beyond your capability if you have put extra efforts to strive to be the best, it doesn't mean you failure. It's just matter of experiences and skills. Think positively, learn it & improve it.

2. Lack of Conviction
People who lack of conviction take the middle of the road; and guess what happens in middle of road? You get run over. The roadblock always is obstacles to stop you go ahead further, when you have lack of confidence, you'll stop eventually without realization you have made decision not being to breakthrough it. People without conviction do not take a stand. They go along to get along because they lack confidence and courage. They conform in order to get accepted even when they know that what they are doing is wrong. They behave like part of herd. For instance, a group of 100 talented & potential guys in racing to be successful, how many of them will be succeed? I guess it is just 5% of the group. Why I said, it is the facts. You believe it or not, you can mingle with those losers, they will influence you by one-by-one.

3. Rationalizing
Winners may analyze but never rationalize. That's a loser's game. Loser always have a book full of excuses to tell you why they could not. Winners indeed do not have this kind useless dictionary in their mind. The reason is why they are positive thinker, things happened always look at different point of views in which they'll figured out the solution, it is not evaluate the problems. Some interesting excuses you can hear from them...

• I'm unlucky
• I'm born under the wrong stars
• I'm not good looking
• I'm useless
• I don't have enough money
• The economy is bad
• If only I had the opportunity
• If only I didn't have a family

Don't miss out, to be continue...